Marie Bérubé and Marc Vachon, psychologists.
Change - a word we hardly dare utter in the working world as it signifies for many, anxiety, disturbance, confusion and even suffering with its inevitable repercussions on the individual, the couple, the family and society in general. No one can escape it however, for it is unavoidable.
The workplace today is undergoing change at every hierarchal level, with downsizing of big and small businesses, constant cuts in the public service, hospital affected by health reforms, teaching institutions experiencing major changes, industries seeking to remain competitive in a globalizing market, etc. These major turning points usually imply a greater workload, increased stress with added duties workers are not necessarily prepared for, the requirement to adapt to new colleagues parachuted among them and sometimes replacing friends who are sent elsewhere or who have simply lost their jobs.
How do individuals react emotionally to these forced changes? When employees and management are asked to identify the feelings most frequently experienced on the job, they invariably speak of powel1essness, anxiety and frustration: powerless before irreversible decisions they have no choice but to accept, frustrated due to this lack of power, and anxious about the future reserved for them by "'those who know."
Conversations in corridors reflect this feeling of loss of control shared by many within the troops. “Anyway, what can we do about it? We're just numbers for them. We don't make the decisions. It could be my turn any day now. It's going to hit me. It's already been decided. What are they waiting for before reacting and doing something? We're heading for disaster." When we are convinced that events have taken control over our lives, it is very difficult to f eel any enthusiasm for one's Job or even life in general.
The repercussions
We now know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the body and mind are intimately connected to each other and that any emotion experienced continually will, over time, have repercussions on the body, affecting body chemistry, blood pressure, metabolism, the immune system and libido. It is therefore not surprising to see so many suffer from high blood pressure, heart problems, stomach ulcers, digestive problems, arthritis, migraines, visual problems, sexual problems and other physical symptoms directly related to stress.
In addition, there has been a marked increase in psychological problems (close to 200% in certain sectors in the past recent years). Absenteeism and sick leave are often the only outlets for many to take breathe and find some balance before turning to more destructive means such as alcohol, drugs and gambling.
Skills to Develop
A man loses his job. Discouraged and hurt, he loses self-esteem and sinks gradually into depression. He attempts to find comfort in alcohol and becomes more and more violent, thus placing his family life in danger. Convinced he is "finished" without any future and not wanting his companion to leave him, he takes a gun, shoots her and then turns it on himself.
After 20 years of loyal service to a company, another man is suddenly fired for no valid reason. Without warning, his universe collapses. For three days, he sits in front of his television, which has been turned off, staring blankly trying to think of some recourse, legal or otherwise. It never occurred to him that this could ever happen to him. He feels angry, discouraged, confused and unappreciated and blames the whole world. The vision before him is painful - the loss of his house and the people dearest to him. This intolerable pain revives an old forgotten dream, that of setting up his own business at home. During the next two weeks, he makes 300 job applications, meets with everyone he knows and finds a job to ensure his survival and that of his family. At the same time, he takes the necessary steps to make his dream a reality. Less than one year alter being fired, he is working on his own and, with well-deserved pride, offered us a tour of his ultra-modem facilities. With self-esteem restored, he is now brimming with confidence and maintains that the firing was the best thing that could have happened to him.
We have seen numerous cases such as these, as you undoubtedly have seen as well, since we have taken an interest in people whose lives have been shaken by such major events. Young people handicapped following motor accidents, parents whose children have died prematurely following an illness, accident or suicide, people handicapped from birth, others who have gone bankrupt, gotten seriously ill... In all of these cases, it was striking to note that, for some, these major events signified a turning point for successful change while others never recovered. The former developed means, while the latter did not, which once learned and used persistently enabled them to deal creatively with their difficult situations and adapt to them more quickly.
Definite personal skills are required to remain open to change, accept what is new and welcome the unknown. We do not share the belief that one is born with the gene of happiness. These are skills which are developed and strategies which are learned. Those who seem to "have it together" more than others probably learned by imitating their parents who possessed these skills or developed them through personal experience.
Whoever we may be, worker, manager, business leader, nurse or teacher, we can learn from their experience to help us control our paralyzing mental states (fear, anger, doubt, helplessness, defeat, guilt, loss of motivation…) and encourage our dynamic states of mind (enthusiasm, joy, pleasure, humour, determination, confidence, motivation...).
 First Tool.
Starting point. Becoming Aware of Your Emotions Rather Than Denying or Ignoring Them
The first step to take is to identify and accept the emotions you feel as unpleasant as they may be. No one likes to suffer which is why we will go to any length to avoid feeling these unpleasant emotions. We can forget about them momentarily in a healthy way through various leisure activities. Some will deny or ignore them - for instance, those who believe heart and soul in positive thinking, others will rely on other destructive means such as alcohol, medical and non-medical drugs, gambling and even work. Emotions have a way of festering, however, when we try to avoid them. They are like a child seeking our attention - we don't listen and try to ignore them. After a little while, the child will shout, scream, roll on the floor or spill a glass of juice on our beautiful carpet just to grab our attention. Rather than wait for an emotion to take over and wake us in the middle of the night in the form of a nightmare or anxiety attack, we should become aware of it and accept it as a signal from our brain that something is not right.
Many things can provoke these emotions and it is important to clearly identity them so that we know how to deal with them. It is easy for us to say we feel powerless or overwhelmed. But what does that really mean for us? Someone else could experience the same emotions but for totally different reasons. Perhaps one of our most important values is not being respected (I feet like a number, pushed around ... ), one of our beliefs is being questioned (1 would never have believed this is where I would be at age 40 ... ), a certain action did not bring about the desired result or one of our rules has been broken (It doesn’t feel right to relocate someone in a new department with new duties and people we don' know who are almost blaming us lor replacing their friends ... ) Whatever the case, let us begin by recognizing and defining our mental state and try to find the reasons behind it. (See Box 1: The Starting Point)
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BOX 1. The Starting Point
- What are the most frequent paralyzing states of mind you experience fairly regularly during a week or when you think about a planned change? (fear, worry, insecurity, helplessness, sadness, anger, being overwhelmed, weariness, guilt, doubt, disappointment, frustration, loneliness, anxiety, dissatisfaction, lack of motivation, being fed up).
- Now, determine which one seems the most paralysing in your opinion. Write a few words on the reason why you feel this emotion (link that emotion to something specific). Be as specific as possible because what generates a same feeling may be different for each individual. It may be related to losses (grieving) that a changing situation will impose on you. If so, what are they? Will you have to grieve a way of doing things or grieve precious moments spent with close friends? Grieving co-workers or a familiar environment? Grieving a value that is important to you? Try as much as possible to link your paralysing state of mind with something specific.
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Second Tool.
Interpreting Your Paralysing Feelings as an Invitation to Action
It is interesting to consider unpleasant emotions as an invitation to action. It is noteworthy to mention that all who are actively involved in self-improvement become aware that their feelings of powerlessness gradually and sometimes immediately disappear. If we realize that we are not competent enough to perform the work expected of us, we can take the steps required to seek the information, tools, strategies and training we lack. There is no shame in being less than perfect.
If our basic values are not respected or are clearly threatened, this may be the right time to find a more suitable working, interpersonal or geographic environment. Rather than regarding our situation as the end of the world, we should view it as the end of a world, change our perspective and consider it as an opportunity to rediscover some of our forgotten dreams.
Third Tool.
The finish line. Deciding What You Want
One of our major problems is that we often know what we don't want rather than what we do want. To pinpoint exactly what we want is undoubtedly one of the most important elements in dealing with major changes and altering our frame of mind. We know very well that someone will not become positive by simply being laid to be positive. Telling someone Stop thinking about how bad things are and everything will work out will not succeed in making the brain comply. If we tell you to forget your stress for the next few minutes, your brain must first pay attention to this stress, thus making it impossible to think about it and forget about it at the same time.
The best way to escape from a paralyzing frame of mind is to concentrate on the desired result rather than the problem, to concentrate on the mindset you wish to develop rather than the one to avoid. It is preferable to focus on an objective, a desired result or a goal and not only on present problems, things that could go wrong or the direction we don't want to head in. As already mentioned, it is impossible try not to think of one's problems and preferable to visualize the desired result and frame of mind.
It is sometimes stated that 20% of our time should be spent on problems and 80% on seeking solutions and we agree this is the right proportion. Rather than saying I don't want to feel tense like this anymore, clearly define your desired frame of mind. For example, I would like to be more relaxed at work, laugh more, take things more lightly. You are thus giving your brain a better chance to direct its search and energies towards obtaining this result.
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BOX 2. The Finish Line
- What are you dissatisfied with, professionally or personally, at work? What do yous miss most? Don't regard these dissatisfactions as negative but welcome them instead as friends. They represent energy which may push you in the direction of your dreams.
- In which direction do you want to channel this energy? What is the energizing state of mind you most need to experience this week, at work and/or elsewhere (enthousiasm, liveliness, curiosity, gratitude, creativity, assurance, courage, audacity, humour, passion, determination, confidence…). Be specific.
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