Marie Bérubé et Marc Vachon, psychologists.
 Tenth Tool: Changlng Your Physiology.
How can you tell whether a person is depressed, happy, enthusiastic or unmotivated without them uttering a word? Simply observing their body, movements, look, whether their head is bowed, how they breathe and walk will enable you to identify these emotions. Our physiology connects with our inner state as our body and mind are part of the same system. This is why what affects us emotionally also affects our body.Think of your reaction upon hearing some good or bad news or the time you felt as if you had wings or again, when you felt physically beaten.
Inversely, what affects our body also affects our emotions. Think of how you feel when you get out of the shower after some physical training or following a bike ride or some skiing. You feel happy - tired but energized. You may even have felt little enthusiasm belore going out but the activity gave you renewed energy. "Emotion is created by motion" as they say.
This is the power of physiology - another tool we could use to create the state of mind which will help us deal with major changes. This tool is used regularly by athletes, actors and anyone who must be prepared to act quickly. When the latter wish to create a certain inner stale, they take action and adopt the physiology corresponding to the desired state thus rapldly changing their frame of mind.
Which states of mind do you need to experience the most at work? Which will enable you to best react to change and the extra effort required of you? You say you wish to feel relaxed, self-assured, motivated, generous, enthusiastic, determined, happy, full of vitality? Each of these states of mind has a corresponding physiology. Change the way you move, breathe, walk, the expression on your face, your gestures and the tone of your voice so that they correspond to your desired state of mind. Act as if you are physically entering a role and observe the results. The effect will be felt more rapidly than by constantly repeating l must be positive and you can shed your paralyzing state of mind much sooner.
Eleventh Tool: Communicating with others.
People who succeed in getting through difficult times of change whether in their private life or elsewhere, have emphasized the importance of communicating with others in order to obtain help, support and encouragement. Encouragement from certain significant people has always played an important role in uplifting their states of mind. Being able to confide in people furthermore helped guide them.
There are several kinds of personal support - mentors, companions to share activities with, acquaintances, intimate friends, family members, resource persons, consultants, etc. Certain attitudes are more conducive to building and maintaining a support network- knowing how to make use of existing resources, being able to request help (make one's needs known, not pretending to be on top of everything), asking for required support, getting this support in motion by being direct and firm in requesting what you want, by insisting if necessary, to recognize support when it is offered, to know how to receive help, to take what others are giving and to express thanks.
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Box 6 . Communicating with others
Who can you count on for supportr along the road: co-workers, close friends, spouse, family, resource people, employee assistance program...?
If you needed help or support or simply someone to listen, who could you go to at work? Outside work?
Make a brief inventory oy your support ans assistance network.? |
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In times of change, individuals must leam to communicate with others in order to seek this support or help or simply to laugh, relax and take a little distance from the situation. As a worker was telling us, what people need these days is to be good to each other. Many groups of employees or management have developed activities to help them support each other by setting aside time to laugh, relax and chat. They have understood the importance of communicating to help them get through these difficult times.
Twelfth Tool: Changing your perspective.
Did you ever go home on a Friday night, for example, thinking about a meeting in which you were criticized fairly directly and feeling frustrated, angry or sad during the entire weekend, unable to shake the image of the meeting or incessantly repeating the words spoken by people attending the meeting? Or did you ever spend an entire week filled wtlh anxiety at the mere thought of a certain important meeting and imagining the worst? It is worth noting how, in both cases, a mental image was capable of producing paralyzing emotions even in the absence of the real situation.
Indeed, the brain does not differentiate between a real and imaginary situation. In both cases, it stirs up the same emotions. Sometimes, experiencing the imagined situation is far worse than the actual situation: think of the meeting which caused you anxiety throughout the week just imagining how it would unfold. You may even have awakened during the night, troubled and unable to fall back asleep. Naturally, the actual meeting which really did take place went smoothly totally unlike your worst fears. Your brain nevertheless put you through a week of paralyzing emotions as if you had indeed experienced the dreaded situation. We call this the inner movie.
People who succeed in maintaining energizing states of mind are able to change the way they view things or picture a situation in order to sustain the state of mind which will allow them to do what they must or wish to do. How? By acting with their mental pictures a little like a movie director.
We all, in fact, have our very own inner movie. All our experiences are somehow registered or coded in our brain as images, sounds and sensations. When we recall a certain experience, we rerun the film or code, if you prefer, of this experience in our mind, and we relive the emotions and physiology connected with it. To verify this, close your eyes and think badk to a painful situation or experience. Relive it in your mind. What was happening at the time? What do you see when you recall the situation? Were there people around you? What were you saying to yourself and what were the people present saying? If you can reconnect with this mental picture, you will notice that you feel as if you were there or worse. Just thinking of a past experience makes your brain react as if you were reliving it. You would achieve the same result by imagining a situation in the future.
It is possible to alter these mental pictures so they will cease producing paralyzing states of mind. Unfortunately, we cannot describe everything we are able to accomplish in practical workshops in this article. We will simply mention that there are scrambling techniques capable of removing paralyzing effects from mental images. Here is one: imagine, for example, someone going home on a Friday evening mentally reviewing a scene where he is criticized by his boss or colleague. Imagine that he is capable of distancing himself from the scene, viewing it as if it were hazy and far-off, looking in from the outside, as if observing a scene happening to someone else. Imagine him mentally reviewing the scene while listening to the song Acuna Matata from the Lion King or him viewing the scene backwards, at top speed or hearing the voices in slow motion, etc. By altering his inner movie, he will also change his emotions.
Here is another example which you will most certainly find familiar and which wid help clarify the concept. It is Sunday evening or Monday morning and the entire coming week suddenly flashes before your eyes - the appointments, urgent issues, deadlines, etc. You immediately feel tired, defeated, unmotivated, even overwhelmed BEFORE your week has actually started. Why? At the very moment you are picturing your entire week, you are psychologically living through it all at once. This is what your brain enables you to experience as it immediately reacts to your mental image of the week.
We often experience the same feelings before undertaking a major project. Even before we begin, we see the task as a mountain. This is not simply a figure of speech for our brain truly assesses the entire work at hand as a mountain. It is therefore not surprising that we feel overwhelmed with the task at hand. Remember what you did then without knowing it - you acted on your inner movie by changing your view of the coming week or major project. You divided the work in stages or broke down the week one day at a time. By separating the images, you changed your state of mind, thus alleviating much of the pressure,
It takes practice to develop these means. People who succeed in maintaining energizing states of mind play with their inner movie and change their perspective of a situation in order to maintain their desired state of mind.
Conclusion
Many people are under the impression of being on a roller coaster without having made the choice to be there. This is not a pleasant scenario but given the situation, they have three choices: to resist, brace themselves, be afraid, become stressed. shout and cry; to give up, become depressed, let themselves be tossed and turned without showing any reaction; or to accept the inevitability of the situation and embark on the journey with the confidence they will arrive at their destination and persevere along the way.
The tools we have presented in these articles have proven their worth. Used on a regular basis. they allow you to overcome the illusion of having no choice, show you it is possible to adapt to change and simplify this adaptation process. Remember. it is practice that makes perfect.
© Communication Pro Santé Inc.
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